I left my laptop yesterday at home, and I only realized it when I reached the office. I had to drive back, and it’s a 20 minutes trip from home to office.
All because I did not get enough sleep.
So many things are running through my minds lately. My BFF from primary school is getting married in E&O Hotel, Penang next week, and I’m totally looking forward to this trip up north. But what I dreaded the most is the trip back to my hometown – my dad with his own issues, and I haven’t made amend with my mom after I said some nasty (but true) things to her – argh it just gets so frustrating! You may say I could just skip this trip back home, but I have my aunty who is currently staying with me and she has been looking forward to go home, so now I can’t be selfish, can I? Even my daughter is just as excited to go back to meet her extended family.
On top of this family drama, work has been piling up. It’s a busy year for us this year, it seems. Since the new year, works keep coming in. I have Adriscarves to worry about too, what’s with the launch of our new products and all the marketing effort that follows.
The good thing in my life right now is that I finally got the hang of my financial after almost 8 years in the workforce. I was a shopaholic – I spent more money than I made – but those were days back then. I finally said enough to this spending habit. I had a good start this year, so hopefully this momentum stays. The only problem is… I’m obsessed about it! The obsessive compulsive in me tends to do so, and it’s just energy-consuming, when you have to think about it every minutes of your life. I have to read every single articles about financial and thrifty lifestyle, I have to record every single spending in my bullet journal, I have to talk about it, I have to check my bank account every single day… Do you know that I spent my last weekend without sleep, because I was reading blogs about spending. It’s definitely tiring to be me.
I just needed some rest and some time alone. I’m just so overwhelmed. Sometimes it feels like the world depended on me – my husband needs me to make certain decisions and future plans, my daughter needs me to teach her, my aunty needs me to decide on some of the household chores, my colleague needs me to give some comments and opinions, my friends need me to listen to them and give some wise advice, my sister needs me to help with her new role in the company she’s working with… They don’t, actually, but it is just me that put such a high bar for myself. It makes me anxious all day wearing these many hats… But don’t get me wrong, I love all of these hats and not giving up on any of them!